Navigating Bullying

Navigating Bullying: A Practical Guide for Parents and Students

“I’ve noticed you’ve been a little quieter than usual lately. Is something bothering you, Ama?” 

Ama looked away at her mother’s question and the deafening silence deepened.  On a bit more prodding Ama responded,

“There’s this group of kids. They keep teasing me and saying mean things. It’s hard to ignore them.” 

“That sounds really tough. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You know, when I was your age, I had a similar experience. It felt awful, but talking about it helped. Let’s figure this out together, okay?” her mum continued.

In absolute shock Ama said, “You went through it too? Did it get better?” 

“Yes, it did, but it wasn’t easy. With some support and a plan, things started to change. The first step is understanding that bullying is never your fault. No one deserves to feel hurt or left out. The next step is deciding how we can respond. Would you like to talk to your teacher, or maybe we can practice ways to stand up for yourself?” 

“I think I’d like you to talk to the teacher. And maybe some tips on how to deal with it when it happens.”

A slight smile broke out on Ama’s face. It had been a while since she felt light.

“That’s a great idea. We can work on that together. And remember, you don’t have to face this alone. Whether it’s me, a teacher, or another adult you trust, we’re here to support you,” her mum continued.

 “Thanks, amma, it feels better just talking about it.” 

“I’m glad you shared this with me, Ama, being bullied can be hard, but we’ll figure it out together. You’re stronger than you think, and you’re never alone in this.” 

Parent talking to child

This kind of open and empathetic dialogue can make a big difference. By acknowledging the problem, offering support, and working as a team, parents and children can navigate bullying with resilience and understanding.

Typical telltale signs of bullying you need to watch out for

While a million to-do lists run through your mind, and another couple remain pinned on your fridge, your role as a parent doesn’t only entail fulfilling those lists.

Being aware of your child’s moods and noticing any conspicuous changes is a game changer, because like the adage goes ‘nip it in the bud’, most situations nipped in the bud eventually turn out fine.

Frustrated kid

The following signs are just a few you should be concerned about:

  1. Sudden changes in mood, behavior, or appetite.
  2. Avoidance of school or activities they once enjoyed.
  3. Unexplained physical marks or missing belongings.
  4. Complaints about headaches or stomach aches with no clear cause.
  5. Difficulty sleeping or nightmares.

These are early signs you will notice and gently probing will help you get to the bottom of it.

Communication is key; initiate judgement free conversations

In our part of the world, where the adult’s word is law, children are often afraid and stifled. Their thoughts aren’t considered and their voices aren’t heard. In this backdrop we offer you a few pointers on how to initiate and pursue healthy conversations with your kids.

  1. Create a judgment-free space where your child feels safe to express their thoughts.
  2.  Share your own stories of challenges to show empathy and relatability.
  3. Use open-ended questions like, “How was your day? Did anything unexpected happen?”
  4. Reinforce that talking about problems doesn’t mean they’re weak—it means they’re strong and proactive.
Parent and child conversation

Empower your child to stand up for themselves

Self-defense, physical or verbal is not wrong!
You need to teach your child that!

Teach your children the following strategies to keep themselves and others around safe from bullies.

  1. Assertive Responses: Practice standing tall, making eye contact, and using a firm voice.
  2. Seeking Support: Encourage them to approach a trusted adult (teacher, coach, counselor) when needed.
  3. Building Friendships: Help them strengthen relationships with peers who can provide a sense of belonging and support.
  4. Self-Care: Encourage activities that boost self-esteem, like sports, art, or hobbies they enjoy.

Support at every level of society breaks the cruel cycle of bullying.
Victims are empowered and the accused are rehabilitated.

At Home: Maintain open dialogue, model kindness and respect, and encourage self-expression.
At School: Collaborate with teachers, school counselors, and administrators to address the issue. Advocate for anti-bullying policies if needed.
Community Involvement: Encourage participation in community groups, sports, or clubs where your child can build positive connections.

No one should be left in the lurch. That’s what a positive mindset does. A community where every person is recognized, valued and respected will not face problems like bullying as much as a community where individuals feel marginalized, disrespected and undervalued.

Empower your child

The positive reinforcement begins at home, schools and staff within have a bounded duty to carry it forward and the eventuality will be an overall feeling of satisfaction and contentment.

A happy and contented child will never bully another.

Let’s join hands to end this cycle!

Raising Resilient Teens: Breaking Stigmas and Supporting Mental Health

Raising Resilient Teens: Breaking Stigmas and Supporting Mental Health

Parenting in the modern generation has taken on a whole new approach. Parents themselves realize the techniques their parents used to raise them don’t work anymore. It either backfires with a worse fallout or is a failure.

Another factor being taken very much into consideration in this generation is mental health.

In yesteryear, nobody spoke about mental health. It was considered taboo and if anyone showed any signs of a weak mind or being mentally distressed, they were outcast as a “lunatic.”

On this note, we need to address a very pertinent topic: mental health.

Parenting teenagers can be a challenging and transformative experience, as adolescence is a critical period for emotional and psychological development. During these years, many teens experience heightened stress, anxiety, and emotional turbulence, making it crucial for parents to be aware of mental health issues.

Mental health awareness is not only about recognizing signs of distress but also understanding how to create a supportive environment where teens feel safe discussing their feelings.

Essential steps parents can take to support their teens, including promoting open communication, reducing stigma, and encouraging healthy coping strategies are important. By understanding and addressing their teen’s mental health needs, parents play a vital role in fostering emotional resilience and well-being.

As we’re all aware the current generation faces a lot more pressure than their parents or grandparents from the older generations. Life has become that much more hectic and fast-paced and it is a reason for a lot of undue pressure. No one seems able to slow down and if anyone decides to not wilt to the pressure of society and take life slow they’re branded “lackadaisical,” “disinterested,” and “unsuccessful.”

In a world where success is measured by financial resources, material possessions and academic qualifications, all of which require extra effort to achieve, the mental load on teenagers and young adults is beyond what they can cope with.

With this background in mind, let us look at options, we, as parents, can help our teenagers and young adults navigate this journey called “life.”

REMOVE THE STIGMA; THE NEED OF THE HOUR

The need of the hour is to remove the taboo on mental health. 

Parents, don’t make it out to be a topic to be discussed “behind closed doors,” because mental health issues are as normal as physical health issues. Be open with your children, discuss the topics concerning mental health and give them an environment where they learn about it as “another health condition” and not as something that is “not supposed” to be spoken about.

ENCOURAGE OPEN COMMUNICATION

Create a safe space where your teen feels comfortable discussing their feelings without fear of judgment. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively. In traditional and conservative societies such as ours, the trend has always been “ children should be seen and not heard!” I’m quite sure many of us would have been told these words by elders in our family. In a world where children have access to others their ages across the globe with the press of a button, these methodologies don’t work anymore; for these kids in frustration would turn to virtual friends, completely unknown to the parents for comfort and solace. Do you think everyone across a screen would be genuine to your child? Would be sincere to your child? That’s a definite gamble; and more likely a “NO”,  so under such circumstances vulnerable children can fall prey to online predators, maniacs, paedophiles and all sorts of people you wouldn’t want your child to be communicating with, and your child becomes a toy in their hands! They pretend to be their support system, only taking these vulnerable kids down a rabbit hole of everything unwanted. And then, you, the parent, have a rebellious and moody child you’re unable to deal with. You ask yourself “why?” but isn’t it a little too late?

Communicating openly with your kids doesn’t do any harm to your self-proclaimed ego and authority. Break the shackles and break the cycle. This is on you, start talking to them today and you’ll have no regrets.

SELF-REGULATION IS KEY; YOU’RE THE ROLE MODEL

Model healthy ways to cope with stress and emotions.  As I mentioned previously, a lot of the work in promoting good mental health among teens and young adults is in your hands; parents!

Your teen is likely to emulate the behaviours they see in you. If you are a person who has frequent anger issues and throws temper tantrums at your spouse, at other family members, your kids are looking at you as a role model. Show them how to navigate problems, cope with stressful emotions, repair after an argument and stay calm through the many storms of life. Break the generational cycle of toxic regulation of emotions, and know that you’re the example your children are following.

ACCEPTANCE, ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT

Parents, do you know that a kind and loving word from you will travel longer and deeper into your child’s mind than expensive gifts, trips and material possessions?

On that note, please note that all children aren’t the same. You could have 3 kids, all completely different from each other in terms of educational, sporting and religious abilities. Personalities can differ, and their relationship styles can differ, but they’re all YOUR children! ACCEPT all of them, SUPPORT them in their different pursuits, ENCOURAGE them and make your children aware that you are their “biggest cheerleader” in life. Don’t push children to be like “their older sibling,” achieve what a “cousin achieved” or compare them to anyone, they’re all uniquely different and they all WANT to feel SEEN and APPRECIATED.

PROMOTE SELF-CARE BY EXAMPLE

Encourage healthy habits, such as regular exercise, adequate sleep, balanced nutrition, and relaxation techniques like mindfulness or meditation, to help them manage stress. These children would implement these in their lives, only if you as a parent model these healthy habits. You cannot nag kids to go be fit, sleep early, or reduce screen time if you aren’t doing any of it. Lead by example, and make life more pleasant for everyone.

LIMIT SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE

Monitor and set healthy boundaries around your teen’s use of social media, which can contribute to feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, and isolation. I won’t go into raptures on this because I have dealt with the snares of unregulated social media usage under the topic of maintaining open and healthy communication with your children.

YOU HAVE TO BE AWARE!

Parents, in this day and age, where information is easily accessible it is your responsibility to stay informed. Educate yourself about common teen mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and stress, so that you can better understand what your teen may be experiencing. Be aware of common signs of mental health issues in teens, such as withdrawal, mood swings, changes in eating or sleeping habits, academic decline, or sudden loss of interest in activities.

If your teen’s emotional or behavioural changes persist for a long time or seem severe, consider seeking help from a counsellor, therapist, or mental health professional. Strike while the iron is hot— before the situation spirals out of control into something that you’ll have regrets about later.

In conclusion, mental health awareness is a critical responsibility for parents of teens as it allows you to provide the necessary support during a pivotal stage of development. By recognizing the signs of mental health struggles, fostering open communication, and creating a stigma-free environment, you can help your teens navigate the emotional challenges of adolescence. Promoting self-care and modelling healthy coping strategies can equip teens with the tools they need for long-term emotional well-being. Ultimately, being proactive and informed about teen mental health can make a significant difference in fostering a positive, supportive, and understanding family dynamic.